


The Importance of Lube

by Red Eyes Black Scythe (VisceraNight)



Series: How (Not) to Train Your Girlfriend [4]
Category: Castlevania (Cartoon)
Genre: Arguing, Crack, F/F, Humor, Sexual References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25910215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Red%20Eyes%20Black%20Scythe
Summary: Carmilla and Lenore argue about lube. Morana and Striga attempt to mediate.
Relationships: Carmilla/Lenore (Castlevania)
Series: How (Not) to Train Your Girlfriend [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810597
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	The Importance of Lube

~ The Importance of Lube ~

Upon hearing what sounded like Carmilla and Lenore yelling at each other, Morana and Striga went to investigate.

"What are you two fighting about?" Striga asked, getting right to the point.

The two of them had the grace to look embarrassed at having been overheard shouting ridiculous accusations at one another. After a few long moments dragged by in tense silence, Carmilla shrugged and admitted, "Lube."

"You were arguing about lube?"

"Yes, since _certain people_ -" Here Carmilla paused to glare in Lenore's direction. "-refuse to share."

Before Morana or Striga had a chance to comment, Lenore burst out, "Of course I refused to share with someone who _wasted two entire bottles!_ "

"Whoa, if you're doing it that much, you could tear something."

"Well, if she used that much lube, she probably isn't going to tear something."

After these comments, Lenore turned to address Morana and Striga.

"She didn't actually use it for anything! She knocked the bottles over onto the floor and they broke." Although she remained facing them, the rest of her rant was passive-aggressively directed at Carmilla. "And she still hasn't replaced the curtains she ruined, or even _apologized_ yet! And my fifth-favorite and seventh-favorite rings are still missing."

Carmilla sighed deeply, then said in a monotone, "I'm sorry. I will buy you new curtains and help you find your rings."

Rather than being appeased by these lackluster concessions, Lenore only became more enraged.

"Don't lie to me! You're not sorry, just like you weren't sorry for breaking my things in the first place! I can't believe you're going to stand there and lie right to my face just like you did when you said you'd-"

Suddenly remembering that their fight had a ringside audience, Lenore managed to stop herself from revealing what exactly it had been that Carmilla had lied to her about before.

However, based on everything they'd already heard and the importance of lube to the center of this argument, Morana and Striga were able to figure out the nature of the promise, although they could only guess at the specifics.

"Wait a minute," Morana said. "Does this mean that the two of you are _together_?"

"Technically-" Lenore began, but was interrupted by Carmilla talking over her.

"Occasional casual sex only, not like... _really_ together."

Spitefully, Lenore changed what she had originally planned on saying, and instead told them, " _Technically_ , we broke up."

"You can't break up with me," Carmilla protested. "We weren't even together!"

"Well, if you want to have any kind of relationship with me, then you need to sort out your issues and learn how to communicate properly first," Lenore said.

And, with that, she turned on her heel and walked away.

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this might be on the borderline of needing to be upped in rating based on the sexual stuff being mentioned. 
> 
> Oh man, I know this series is just supposed to be dumb crackfics, but I kind of feel bad for putting these two into such a horrible relationship..... I mean, I don't even ship it but I kinda want to let them actually sort shit out and make up after this.


End file.
